can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
