is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize