"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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