my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize