too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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