4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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