I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
