if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
