Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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