I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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