What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
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I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize