I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize