I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
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dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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