lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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