dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
