just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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