Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?