Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.