he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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