I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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