forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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