her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
