i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
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Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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