can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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