my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize