Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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