She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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