Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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