Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
