So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I want to be your penis for a week.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
