So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
