I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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