No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
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Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize