When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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