Taylor Swift is so right about you.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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