Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
