Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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