The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So much rum. So many feels.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
