I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
