I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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