I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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