omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize