the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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