The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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