Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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