some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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