i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
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So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
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my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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