I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.