I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once