You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
