Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
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