So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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